Sporkmonger

Robert, I don’t care how much storage space you give me, I won’t use it. I don’t trust you to fight the government on my behalf if they demand my data. And I don’t trust you because you’re Microsoft. Nothing requires trust more than the handling of private data. And trust is something that Microsoft may very well never again obtain, no matter how friendly or efficient they become.

And don’t worry about Google. They’re going to keep making billions, and you’re not going to beat them at their search engine game. There’s simply no reason to worry about them, because when hell freezes over, and they release GoogleOS, 10 people will use it, because it’ll simply turn out to be a rebadged version of Ubuntu with some extra Googliness that no one actually needed. Google is a one trick pony, whose singular trick happens to be being the best web search engine around. Hardly a real threat to Microsoft, given that your irrelevant search engine is only used by the guys who don’t know they can change off the default. And by Steve Balmer’s poor ipodless children. MSN Search is obviously not Microsoft’s real cash cow (despite probably still being fairly high-margin).

So yeah, your “moonshot” will be a crash landing.

Microsoft should simply give everyone a gigabyte or two instead with cheap options to upgrade. That’s plenty to establish vendor lock-in. Something convenient for the regular Joe Schmoe who doesn’t know any better. If it’s the default, are they really gonna care? They’ve got this Online Drive icon in Explorer that they can drag and drop to. For them, it’s not about the space, it’s about the fact that you have a monopoly, and you have the ability to integrate far better than anyone else because of that monopoly. For them, it’s about convenience, not inexhaustable disk storage. So do what Microsoft does best, stick to crushing everyone with the unstoppable power of the default, and the power of Windows integration, avoid innovation and stick to being the second mover that reacts to your competitors after watching their mistakes, and stick to being hated by everyone with half a brain (that’s like 0.1% of the population, nothing at all to worry about). Trust me, it’s much more profitable that way.

And don’t worry too much about Apple. They’re going to mostly win… eventually, but it’ll take them 50 years to do it, and Microsoft will be doing something else by then anyhow, since Windows Vista will never have a real successor thanks to the vaporware effect. Just lots and lots of fun renamings, such as Windows Vista Media Edition, Windows Vista Extreme Home Theatre Edition, Windows Vista Gaming Edition, Windows Vista Console, Windows Vista Appliance Edition, Windows Vista Auto, Windows Vista Mobile, Windows Vista Tablet PC Edition, Windows Vista Tablet PC Ultra Mobile Edition, Windows Vista Military Equipment Edition, and eventually, Windows Vista Implant Edition. Each of which will come in 6 flavors from “Developing Country” pricing designed to prevent rampant piracy on up to “Really Big Enterprise” pricing designed to rob stupid people blind.

Meanwhile, Robert Scoble will continue on as Microsoft’s rather friendly blogging face, doing his honest, level-best to hold back the monster he’s been employed by, unable to go anywhere else, simply because doing so would be tantamount to giving up in defeat. And eventually he’ll die an old, bitter man.

And those Windows Vista Implant Edition people? Yeah, you thought Mac Zealots were bad? You ain’t seen nothing.

Eww, I feel like Cringely, only 1000 times more pessimistic. This punditry thing… really not my cup of tea. Back to writing code.